London based Scottish comedian Del Strain gives us 20 Interesting Facts

 1. Describe yourself in five words.

SCOTTISH-SCALLY"-BEGBIE DOES COMEDY"

2. What has been your proudest moment?
 THE BIRTH OF MY SON/GETTING 4 GRANDS WORTH OF SNOUT BACK OFF CUSTOMS

3. What is your most annoying habit?
 SPEAKING MY MIND

4. What are you like when you are drunk?
 SAD- AS I ONLY DRINK AT FUNERALS

5. What was the last illegal thing you did?
TECHNICALLY HAVING MY FIRST REEFER OF THE DAY

SELLING 2 GRANDS WORTH OF PRADA GLASSES FOR A THIRD OF THEIR MRP

6. Do you tip in restaurants, and if so, how much?
 NO IM NOT AMERICAN, AND THE SERVICE IN THIS COUNTRY DOESNT WARRENT IT, ON ANY STRANGE OCCASION IT DOES FROM 10-20%

7. Who (living or dead) would be your five ideal dinner guests and why?

Steve Maqueen-Joe Strummer-Richard Burton-Jonny Cash-Winston Churchill------{if 1 couldnt make it due to prior then Adolf Hitler, so i had someone to attack at the end of it}

8. Who was your favourite Dr Who and who would you cast as the next one?Tom Baker  because he was the DR when i was wee but----i think Tennant is one of the best theirs been

AND ID LIKE TO SEE ROBBIE COLTRANE AS THE DR.

9. What are your all time favourite TV shows and why?

SWEENEY-SCOTSPORT-YOUNG ONES-PORRIDGE-MAGNUM-

SENTIMENT AND I GREW UP WITH THEM

10. What's the most stupid heckle you've had and how did you respond?

HAGGIS---ON ITV ON THE 5 OCLOCK SHOW A WOMAN SHOUTED HAGGIS SO BEING A COMEDIAN I PUT HER IN HER BOX ONLY FOR THE GALLERY TO THINK SHIT HE IS GOING OFF SCRIPT HE IS DOING A FREEDIE STARR/JACKIE MASON AND CUT ME SHORT LIVE ON ITV-----STUPID WOMAN. 

11. What do you wear in bed?

A BIG SMILE AND MY BOXERS--SHORTS NOT DOGS.

12. When you were a child what did you want to be?
 PLAY FITBA FIR SCOTLAND

13. What's the biggest lie you've ever told?

AS THEIR HAVE BEEN A FEW OCCASIONS MOSTLY UNDER OATHE ILL SKIP THAT ONE----RATHER SPEAK THE TRUTH AT ALL TIMES IN LIFE  WHEN ATOL POSSSIBLE NO MATTER THE REPERCUSIONS SOMETIMES TO MY DETRAMENT.

14. If you knew the world would end in 10 minutes what would you do?
SCREW THE CHEMISTS-GO DOWN THE OLD BILL SHOP WITH A BAT-LEAVING ENOUGH FOR SOME SEX------THATS WHY YOU NEED THE CHEMISTS---------

15. If you could travel in time for only one day, when and where would you go?

HARD ONE----POSSIBLY THE 100 CLUB WHEN THE PISTOLS PLAYED OR BANNOCKBURN WITH THE BRUCE

16. What do you have for breakfast?
 COFFEE AND BACON AND EGGS UNLESS IM HAME THEN ITS RED COLA AND SCOTTISH SQAURE SAUSAGE

17. What's the answer to life, the universe and everything?
THE OLDER I GET THE MORE I SEE WHAT GOES ROUND COMES ROUND AND IF YOUR LUCKY TO LIVE TO A OLD AGE YOUR READY TO MOVE TO THE NEXT PHASE WHATEVER THAT MAY BE, IM NOT SCARED OF DEATH IVE BEEN LUCKY IM STILL HERE UNLIKE MY PIERS FROM GROWING UP WHO NEVER REACHED 30 NEVER MIND 40 BUT HOW IT COMES THATS THE ONE THAT IM SCARED OF.----LIVE LEARN DIE---AND WHEN YOU GET IT YOUR TOO OLD TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT.

18. What's the best sweet ever invented?

COLA CUBE 

19. Who would you ban from being seen or heard by anyone else again ever?
 AL KADA OR HIM FAE AYR ON BIG BROTHER HE HAD TO BE FAE AYRSHIRE "IM A WITCH"

20. Astonish us with a fact.
 1 IN 4 OF US WILL GET CANCER

Ulster born Scots based comedian Elaine Malcomson gives us 20 Interesting Facts